Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Hard to get

What do spaghetti, burgers, crayfish, whole baby chicken and crabs have in common? None should be devoured on a date.
As the words Fuck, prick, broke, shit, desperate and cunt should also be avoided.
I need not mention that the appearance of cigarettes, bike pants, crimped hair and maternity bras go down like a lead balloon when you first meet someone.
So why then does my friend Miss B always get the guy? Miss be will arrive at the restaurant, drunk and chain smoking, hair in a scrunchy (for fuck sakes,) spag bol running down her face while she tells a story about the cunt of a boss who under pays her.
I will tell you why. 'Hard to get' is no longer a game- its a life style. Throw 'The Rule book' where it belongs, in the sanitary disposal unit at your local Red Rooster. It is shit, its a fad diet for dating.
You see playing hard to get is the oldest trick in the book. Men have evolved and although they might seem to have the intelligence of an ingrown hair they can actually be quite cluey and see straight through it.
So in order to step it up a notch you need to stop pretending to not give a fuck and actually stop giving a fuck. For example- before a date, ask yourself- if this was dinner with my brother what would I wear? or better yet- if I was going around to mums house what would I wear? the new rule is "The less attention and effort, the closer you'll get to your fella"
Here's an example of the power of this love law.
When Plain Jane went out on a date with Super Stud he wasn't expecting much. Until she got there wearing dirty tracksuit pants and a Bintang singlet. He asked, "whats with the attire?" PJ answered- "fuck should I have put some effort in? sorry Iv had a million things to do today"Of course this left SS thinking "she wasn't even exited about this date... Why not?" and by the time PJ slugged him with a huge bill and stumbled out the door poor old SS didn't stand a chance.
The final step for the new and improved "hard to get" is one not to be taken lightly and I only recommend for use by the most confident and experienced female players as failure can lead to the utmost embarrassment.
If you really didn't give a fuck what a particular man thinks of you but would still like to get him in bed, would you bother playing hard to get? No. You would do the complete opposite- So in order to become believable in you playing hard to get you must 'Come on strong' tell him you've "always wanted to do this," and that "you cant wait to get him back to your house" and "that hes manly and huge" After you've had your wicked way with him sneak out and ignore him for a week. Then prepare to welcome a new stalker into you life.

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