Monday, January 4, 2010

disaster dates

"I don't hate women, I just think they have there place in the world. I do however hate Indians, there ruining Melbourne. I'm driven by money, have allot of the stuff and strongly believe this is the reason you will eventually call me back"
And he was one of the better dates Iv been on.
Dating is never ever easy. Iv been on a date with- a bong head (I'm talking a portable bong in his bag that spilt and left bong water all over the restaurant.) Two male prostitutes, (I didn't find this out until half way through, both times) one that sat through dinner talking about the guilt his sexually transmitted diseases have brought him and the other that said "I suppose I prefer having sex with men" this was just before he accused me of drinking too much. An Irish backpacker that claimed to be running from a murder charge (Ecstasy got me through that date, probably not the wisest move)
So now your thinking, yeah yeah we've all been on disaster dates. But wait theres more... What do all these complete winner men have in common? They rejected ME.
Maybe I just don't come across well at a dinner table, could be the four bottles of wine I insisted on ordering because the mere fact that I was on a date was reason enough to celebrate. Of course Id never admit that. In my head there were two reasons, and each rejection was allicated one of them. 1, I'm too fat, superficial bastard would have called if I was thinner or 2 He cant handle a strong empowered woman, (no he cant handle a drunk, scene making drama queen.)
Then theres the ones who would seem to have only asked me out in order to reject me. You know like when a guy asks you to call him only to not answer it. Once this extremely hot black guy that worked in this funky boutique clothing store on Flinders Lane asked me out, not once he practically begged me to go out with him. When I finally agreed (knowing all along I was going to) he asked me to meet him at a bar in the city. I got there, dressed up and exited. He was 20 min's late- he walked up to me, kissed my cheek and told me I looked beautiful then he apologised for being rude however explained that he wasn't staying as his ex girlfriend was waiting in his car for him and they were getting back together. "You don't mind do you Constance?"
"Um well yeah, actually I do you stinking asshole, fuck off then. Hey bar tender? make that a bottle.... one glass"
Hmmmm Am I the disaster date? I have stood outside a block of apartments at 3am calling some guys name cos I cant remember which number he lives in and I felt like a cuddle. I have dated too soon after being dumped and continue to ask my current date if he can figure out why someone would dump me? And Iv refused to eat and only drink because my new fad diet didn't allow carbs after midday and food after 5pm.
So is there really a question as to why I sat next to my mobile day in day out waiting for a call or text even a booty call via text?.. Or why I used to call vodaphone once a week just to ask them to text my phone to make sure its working?... No there isn't.
No dating is never ever easy, not for me... Or anyone dating me.

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