Sunday, October 25, 2009

Once I collapsed at a train station in tears, once my friend lied and said she was about to kill herself, another friend I know purposely drove her car into someone Else's. Punches have been thrown, endless bottles of spirits have been consumed, friends have been slept with, windows smashed, jobs quit and above all there has been begging. Why so dramatic? Cos someones been dumped.
Being dumped can be so utterly devastating that the world around you stops. You cant talk about anything but your ex, you cant eat (which works, as the weight loss comes in handy) You feel like you cant breath. You feel like theres been a bulls eye on your heart and you didn't even know it. Someones come along and put out the light on your little corner of the world. You become selfish, even if the reason you were dumped was that you were already selfish, you become really selfish. Your hurting and everyone should feel it.
What can you do about being dumped? They say theres nothing you can do, hold your head up, walk away with what dignity you can find.
I on the other hand say bullshit. There is loads you can do.... Another thing 'they' say revenge is a dish best served cold but in this case I firmly believe its a look that should be served Hot.
We all know begging doesn't work, but never underestimate the power of looking shit hot, rocking up to a bar you know they'll be at and ignoring them. Or if that doesn't work keep drinking, sooner or later your ex will see how smashed you've gotten and do the righty by taking you home. That might not be the best look but your pretty much guaranteed morning sex which could lead anywhere. Another 'take me back trick' is the old "I think I'm pregnant" But this ones for ameteurs and has more floors then I can be bothered writing.
Revenge is for the broken hearted who hasn't reached the stage of admitting there lost without there lover, its for when your ego is so completely bruised that you need pay back. Yes revenge is fun, rumors of small dicks and herpes are fun, hacking into face book accounts to make status updates say "Joe Blogs has just popped home for his midday wank" Is fun however it very rarely gets you what you want which is usually your lover back. I recently read a Chinese proverb that went "when planning your revenge, start by digging two graves, one for your enemy and one for yourself"... We don't want that.
So if all else fails, you've tried the stalking, the threats, the guilt's and given the begging one last try its probably time to do the mature thing...
And that's not, hang out with friends, get a new haircut, listen to music, Duffy or Damien Rice or Dido (why does all the draining music start with D) The answers simple, The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. xxxxxxxxxx

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