Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Disneys Deceptions

Prince Charming swept her off her feet and they live happily ever after........
So um Walt or Mr Disney- what ever you prefer, don't know if you noticed but you missed a couple of things mate..
Did Snow white and Prince Charming have to go on a break before marriage so that old Charming knows for sure that he's done shagging other woman? Did Cinderella accidentally pass on a nasty case of thrush to her Prince Charming only to be accused of sleeping around? Did sleeping beauty realise that the snooze was better then the reality and try and top herself with a bottle of sleepers?
One thing that most of us ladies learnt from these fairy tales is the Damsel factor. A man loves a good Damsel, or so we were led to believe. I personally spent the best part of my childhood daydreaming up a rescue job where I was kidnapped and recovered injured, but alive by all the boys in my class. I would cling to the hot one, still in too much shock to talk but grateful that they all love me so much that they couldn't rest until I was back at assembly. Of course in reality boys hate a damsel. All the boys Iv been had the pleasure of going out with have just desired someone they didn't have to look after- Miss 'independent' Miss 'Buy your own drink cos I'm too tight to buy you one" And thanks to my Disney conditioning that isn't me.
The Little Mermaid 'Arial' gave up her entire family, her friends (OK a fish and a crab, even my friends top that) and her fin all for a pair of legs and Prince Eric. And what did Eric teach our male companions about sacrifice? In fact I think Eric's the reason that most of our boyfriends idea of sharing is asking the waitress to put half our dinner on there plate before we've even laid eyes on it. Thanks Eric, or should I say Walt.
So after establishing all the 'problem' areas of my life that your to blame for Walt, the question remains....
What exactly did you mean by happily ever after? Did Prince Charming finally spread his wild seed enough to exhaust himself and educated himself on the nature of thrush, just in time to wake his lady friend out of her coma and make an honest woman out of her. Meanwhile Pocahontas or who ever his latest is realises she has nothing left to give, shes old, fat and financially tangled to him so what the fuck... And they both lived happily ever after... The end

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