Thursday, February 18, 2010

I once watched a documentary (ok, it was oprah) on the laws of attraction. They claimed that our siblings let off a certain odour or pheromone to us that was designed to repel us and thus turn us away from breeding with them. This is responsible for the reason that something as simple as reading the previous sentence is enough to make us all cringe and possibly vomit. I found this entire episode interesting and started to think… I wonder if this same odour is let off between women and there boyfriends friends? Why is it that when a single girl asks her taken friends if there boyfriend knows anyone to set them up with we all laugh with discust? Is it pheromones, designed to stop us being lead astray? Or are they really as repulsive as they come across? One theory is that men travel in packs and every pack only has enough room for one prize and the rest have sacrificed all good looks, charisma and self respect for the greater good of the prize.

This doco went on to explain that everything we once thought was our own personal taste in regards to what we are attracted too was not our choice at all and simply our hormones guiding us to the most appropriate breeding tool. Men preferred the scent of an ovulating woman and women preferred the strong virile man to the red head with glasses. This also supports my theory as is it just me or does everyones boyfriends friends smoke so many bongs that theres probably only three mutated sperm in there sack, sitting on there own little sperm couch trying to order a little sperm pizza.

On the other hand I have always felt a similar repell to friends boyfriends. The difference being that rather then being unattracted to them because there unattractive, I can appreciate the appeal however an automatic barrier goes up. As if its natures way of conserving the friendship and you find yourself thinking of your handsome, successful and funny friends boyfriend as A-sexual. Like a cousin or dog.

However while your cooing over the man your friends now see as a non-sexual drinking buddy, he no doubt has friends of his own and while you might view them as mortien for woman your friends might not be so repelled..

Ahh yes the laws of attraction wont fail to mystify, what is it about Sean Penn that makes me weak at the knees And Peter Andre that gets him egged overtime he leaves the house? What is it about your boyfriends sweat that makes you want to ride his disco stick and the cab drivers that makes you puke?

We may never uncover all the secrets the laws of attraction have to offer but we can stick to some of the guidelines… Never shag the untouchables (or unwantables), your friends boyfriends or your boyfriends friends. However if you were stranded on an island with one of both and the future of mankind depended on you shagging one of them, take a deep breath and go with the mortien. As the mere act of doing so will be punishment enough for the bad deed. Now lets just hope that his little sperm gets out of its sperm coma and swims for mankind.

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