Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I know from experience that if you hardly ever let your boyfriend go out then when he finally does he'll get totally shit faced and stay out all night... They feel the need to 'make it last'. However I also know that men apply the same mentality to receiving blow jobs. There you are sucking your heart out praying to hear those two words "I'm coming" only the feel your fella tensing up, holding on, some times even trembling with might trying to prolong the blow job or to 'make it last'
We women approach receiving head differently. We pull you guys back up when we think you might have had enough. That is of course on the rare occasion that you venture down there....
A recent study conducted in the USA showed that 70% of female high school girls had performed oral sex (I'm home schooling my daughter). Surprising? not really. However the same study revealed that only 12% of high school girls had received oral sex. Surprising? no, however appalling and a statistic that sets the bar for the rest of our sexual life.
So why do men consider there sexual satisfaction up there with world peace and global warming while ours is as urgent as Junk mail?
I know a guy, who's name I wont mention that said to me once "Giving head always seems like a good idea, until you go to do it, its like a fucking alien down there" Nice one JAMIE.
I hope none of you guys out there are pulling the smell card. We have more hygiene in our little toe then you have in your entire bodies. Ever had a whiff of a nob after a night on the razzle dazzle? Another one I like is the "I only do it if shes really special" what? as apposed to the Cain toad you picked up for the evening? Trust me if shes special enough to pull the one eyed stiff one on then shes special enough for a bit of the royal treatment.
Once I heard an American comedian say that if you wanted to get a black guy to go down on you your best best was to hide a chicken wing in there..
Well Aussie guys arnt that keen on chicken wings but I have to tell ya desperate times call for desperate measures and, I know a few guys that could sniff out a bag of weed from a mile away..... xx

1 comment:

  1. your on the money babe!....again. i do have some weed lying around!