Last Tuesday, I woke up in the middle of the night and stipped off cos I was hot. Then at 6.45am my baby woke up wanting to be fed, I wiggled my arse out of bed (with a few really attractive grunts), picked her up, noticed she was wet so I changed her nappy and took off her jumpsuit, took her to the couch and started to breastfeed her. While doing this I heard the sound of a tiny little explosion coming from her new nappy. Not about to interupt her feed I left it there for a few more monents before getting up (still naked) to change her nappy.
Thats when I noticed it........ She had done one whopper of a turd, it had leaked out of her nappy and inbedded itself in my pubic hair- While other ladies my age dont even have pubes mine were coverd in yellow baby poo.
Did I care? nup. I picked her up, changed her nappy and popped her on her play mat.
Meanwhile my boyfriend Billy was getting ready for work. I offered to make him some coffee? He just stood there, stared at what used to resemble a fanny, shook his head and walked out the door.
Thats when I started to think to myself.... What happened to Constance? The outspoken Constance, the loud, lovable and sassy Constance? (everyone has a vision of themselves weather correct or not) the consantly drunk and opinionated Constance? (now your all thinking, who cares what happened to Constance)
Well on this perticular Tuesday I did.
I mean when did I stop wearing a bra? its not like my boobs became less saggy once I had the baby, infact now there making this amazing slap noise when they hit against my chest/tummy when I walk. I dont even want to get into the dreadlocks Im growing or the armpits I havnt had a chance to shave in two months (thank god for winter)

Then something great happened, my girlfriend called me up crying.. Shed had a huge fight with her fella and was devistated. (I know Im selfish and mean to think this was great)
After talking to her I hung up and thought, "thats not me anymore" dont get me wrong, Billy and I have bigger and meaner fights then the best of them but I just dont care so much anymore.

Im preocupied with the bigger picture at the moment, this high might not last long but for now it makes everything else seem miniscule as long as she has rosie cheeks and a dry bum Im ok.
And yes I still have my days where Im tempted to put her on Ebay or atleast leave her at grannys permanently (whos waiting happily with adoption papers ready to be signed).
But everytime I look at her round little head I know that I love her a little bit more then yesterday and a little bit less then tommorrow. Even if that does mean poo in the pubes (Ralph magazine would sugest in my fault for sporting the sinnful pubic hair in the first place)
When this little baby cries I will come running, and you can all hear the echoes of my boobs against my tummy. xx