Monday, September 7, 2009

Tricky Tricky Tricky

All of us have been tricked........
Trick or treated by some little gremlins from down the road, tricked out of a round of beer by that one Jewish friend who always gets out of it, or tricked by a magician who after woods with a poof and a cloud of smoke vanishes.
But more commonly and definitely more annoyingly us girls are getting tricked into bed.
How many nights have you gone out with either a friend or a guy your not attracted to at all only to wake up in the morning next to a guy who's head and neck are so close together your concerned you may have just shagged an Ovaltiney???
Or worse still a guy your so attracted to that you know the only way you wont blow it is by holding off for a while only to wake up and realise you Blew it, literally.
How the hell do they do it?
Well I once knew a guy who told me that the trick is to get the girl back to your house, offer them coffee, a beer or in my friends case to look at there pet fucking rabbit- anything will do. This guy reckons that once you step foot into there place your nickers are 90% around your ankles, waxed or not waxed (so many girls make the mistake of skipping the wax appointment thinking that knowing they have a bush down there will act as a Chastity belt, not the case you'll end up feeling like a hairy tart instead of just a tart)
Another trick is the sympathy card... "I haven't had sex since my last girlfriend cheated on me, Iv been scared of rejection" This is self explanatory and its amazing how often it works.
All these tricks have one thing in common, they come with a promise of a follow up date, a call, a text or at the very least a bloody Friend Request (that entails remembering your name) and they hardly ever follow through.
Why the promise? Because man are amazing creatures who's one weakness is awkwardness. There need to avoid awkward moments is almost as strong as there need to try a variety of vagina in the first place. So "Ill call you" Is such the better option then "sucked in"

Only the other day I was almost tricked (not into bed my boyfriend spends more time tricking me out of bed then into it these days) but by a friend Mr P when I told MrP about this blog I was writing and how I was going out for lunch with my girlfriends to discuss the times they had been tricked. Well MrP told me that he too would be interested in this chat, not that he had tricked girls into bed but MrP believes he had been tricked into bed before too..... When I explained this to my boyfriend he said to me "Con don't you see? You've just been tricked now MrP gets to come along to lunch with a table full of single girls"
So there it is, we can all get tricked but watch out because men like all good magicians after woods with a poof and a cloud of smoke will vanish.

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