Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Ever find yourself asking, where did it go wrong? Was it my bum in those jeans? Did I bore him with the details of my personal grooming? Garlic breath?
Just like spots and stipes don't mix, chocolate and beer don't mix, the French and the English don't mix..... Drinking and Dialing DON'T MIX
We've all been there, let me refresh your memory..
You've been seeing a lovely fella, all going swimmingly, you cool calm and collective. In fact your so charismatic, you've almost convinced yourself. Like any seasoned dater you understand relationship need to Breath. So out you go on a Friday night with the girls for a change, have a laugh and about 8 to many drinks. What comes next? You get the urge, the urge for some lovin... You pick up your phone desperate to indulge in conversations like "do you miss me? How much? do you want to see me?", but your friends get the urge too, the urge to stop you and salvage what could be a potential boyfriend "DON'T DO IT!!!!!, NOOOOOO" but you brush them of with comments like "You don't know him, he'll think this is great" or "He asked me to call" (lies). Then the sneak in you emerges, the sneak is the you that lies to your friends saying you wont ring him and then runs into the bathroom to make your booty call, its also the you that "sex-messages" all night but will delete them from your sent items straight away so that you dont even know about it in the morning. Sometimes your calls don't get through, of course sober you accepts this and moves on, only highly persistent drunk you becomes (for lack of a better word) 'obsessed.' Four missed calls and three text messages later (reading these messages is somewhat like cracking the Davinci Code) Why do we do it? because alcohol alters our perception of ourselves, your thinking "Im so drunk, ha he'll probably think I'm SOO Kate MOss right now" when all you are is SOO trash bag right now. Waking up next to your mobile phone has never hurt so much.
How can we stop such travesties? Unfortunately a breathalyser for our mobiles hasn't been invented yet, so in the mean time here is a little trick I came up with a while ago. Before embarking on your first drink erase your new lovers number form your phone, give it to one of your friends (the strong one) and inform her not to give it back until the next day. Don't be sneaky and leave it in your call register and remember to delete all those messages too. You know that really sweet message that he sent you after your first date and you swore you'd save? Well delete that too. You ll thank me for it in the morning.

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